
"This story begins and ends with a photograph taken when I was two years old. Finding it was like discovering that I really did exist after all. It was as if someone was saying, 'No, it wasn't all in your imagination, that childhood really did happen and it happened to you'."
They say every picture tells a story: the photograph above was taken by Lord Snowdon in 1965 and used by the NSPCC in a publicity campaign, and as the cover image of the Sunday Times Magazine to accompany a feature about child poverty. It is a picture that has become famous around the world. It is a picture of Peter Roche, aged two.
Brought up in south London in conditions of extreme squalor and brutality Peter's childhood was so horrendous that even 30 years later a psychiatrist told him he was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. In the Roche family starvation and beatings were the order of the day, "to ask for help, to be needy, was to ask for a beating that would leave you bleeding and battered and numb from the terror of not knowing when it would stop". Horrors included: the punishment for missing school was being made to stand in a bowl as his mother poured the contents of a kettle of boiling water on his feet; another frequent punishment was to force him to wear urine-soaked clothes to school and he was frequently lashed with his mother's 'Sally', a three foot long bush branch including the one occasion he ever asked for school trip money.
The one kind person Peter remembered vaguely from his childhood was Miss Zils 'the NSPCC lady'. As an adult he began to ponder on why if the NSPCC knew about his family when he was 2 why had the children continued to suffer so badly all their childhood. With persistence he rang the NSPCC and eventually tracked down Miss Zils who asked him to come and visit her where the first thing he saw on her wall was the picture above, 'The expression on the toddler's face made my stomach turn over and my eyes filled with tears' and he learnt the story of how he was the child in the photo. The photographer had been Lord Snowdon who had taken the photo at the Roche's filthy flat. Yet that photo had changed nothing for Peter Roche whose life remained as wretched as ever and later descended into petty crime and living on the street.
As a legacy of his childhood Peter has suffered throughout his adult life from anxiety and depression heightened when his first wife left him and their children (for his own brother) and the fact that he has never held down a job long-term, 'I now have the ambitions I lacked when I was a teenager. They are very simple. When I grow up, I want to be able to live without being pursued from moment to moment by depression and anxiety. I want to go to work like everyone else. And that's it'.
Yet he had the tenacity and grit to track down the truth about this photo, to find a publisher for UNLOVED and to achieve a happy marriage second time round with a wife and children, of whom he poignantly says 'you have taught me what family means'.